Hokey-Pokey Stuff

I don't like hokey pokey stuff.  You know, those like 'magical' things people get in to.  When people just 'feel' or 'believe' something 'just cause'.  Like when a black cat crosses your path you're going to have a bad day, or you think garlic will ward off vampires.

So things like religion, meditation, spirits... never really been my thing.  Where's the science in that?  Where's the evidence that we should devote our lives to something that doesn't seem to make sense?  Where has everyone's logical reasoning skills gone?!

Thus this whole yoga thing doesn't make much sense.  I can't really even explain why I was attracted to it in the first place.  Probably just fitness.  Benefits to flexibility and strength.  But before I knew it, I was practicing every day for two hours, reading books and blogs, chanting and meditating.

I decided not to analyze it too much (quite the challenge for me).  I just makes me feel good.  I feel 'different' after.  I feel more self-aware, in control of my emotions, and most of all, happy.  Gosh, I'm starting to sound like all those 'hokey-pokey' people!

But then I came across some good ol' scientific research that may make me not so crazy:

 

Maybe too much thinking is a bad thing.  Stress, anxiety, depression, all seem to stem from thinking too much.  According the article and news clip, research shows we can change this by simply making an effort not to think for a little bit every day.

For me it all ties to the idea of being present in the moment.  Not analyzing something in the past or worrying about something in the future.  Yoga itself is a moving meditation.  The focus on the breath, muscle engagement, and visual focal point bring your mind to the now.  The task at hand and nothing more.

But you don't need to do yoga to benefit.  Just sit and breathe for a bit.  Be aware of yourself.  It's amazingly simply, yet incredibly powerful stuff.

Too hokey-pokey for you?  Dare you to give it a try!

Life is Just Not that Serious!

Warning:  Scary insights into my psyche. 

Ever found yourself stuck making a tough personal decision and not knowing what to do?  You know, one of those situations where both sides seem equally negative.  A decision that probably comes with a taxing emotional battle as well such as relationships, careers, children, or friendship.


I think people respond quite differently when confronted with these types of decisions.  Some of us easily pick a decision and march assuredly in one direction.  Others avoid it for as along as possible, hoping it will take care of itself.  Whatever the reaction, I think we all feel a lot of the same emotions;  fear, stress, anxiety, loneliness.  We are all wishing for the 'right' answer to find us.  A compass to appear in the clouds overhead.


I have always thought I handle these decisions in a very healthy, logical way.  I believe with enough analysis and introspection, 'right' answers always emerge.  So I dig up old journal entries.  I analyze past conversations and experiences.  I try to weigh my personal characteristics with the decision and predict the level of happiness or regret that will likely result.  I discuss it with people close to me and collect their advice.  Heck, I even Google it.  Once I think I've found my 'right' decision, I cling to it like the holy grail and try not to look back (or else begin the debate all over again).


Those of you that know me well know I wrestle with basically every aspect of my life... constantly.  I dissect relationships relentlessly.  I weigh career possibilities that will make me excited to work every day.  I imagine some future perfection in which I've done enough research and soul searching to earn me the perfect relationship, in the perfect place, with the perfect job and the perfect balance.  Everything that is 'just right' for me.


As a result, that makes every decision I make either the 'right' one, or a 'mistake'.  It's either bringing be closer to my perfect fantasy future, or farther from it.  This process puts me under tons of pressure to constantly reassess, reevaluate, and move ever forward.  While it seems most people find change difficult, I find it incredibly hard to stay the same.  To keep the same job, relationship, location, vision.


Sure, there are some things that I define myself by.  Some traits or interests that seem to stick;  yoga, health, environment, travel.  But for the most part, I find myself restless.  What could I be doing that would be more right for me?  What should I be doing to get 'there'?


It's frickin' exhausting.  I don't know how I keep it up.  And yet... I kinda like it.  The challenge I get.  The meaning it puts into my life.  The confidence I've built from redefining my life and abilities.  The respect people give me for being courageous enough to change my situations.


But it has yet to make me really happy.  It makes me take my happiness out of the present moment and apply it to some future date when I've achieved the career, standing relationship, and zen-like state I keep expecting of myself.  And it makes me only able to commit in the short term.  I can only give short bursts of undivided attention until I 'learn' more about myself and have to move along down my life 'path'.


Instead of the certainty I'm looking for, I usually end up with guilt, regret, confusion.  I don't think I'm unique in this.  Most people in my life are looking for the 'right' answers as well.  Or at least think that they've already found it.  Everyone wants a guiding light.  Something that will take decisions out of their hands.  We believe fervently in a diety.  We look for 'signs' in our life.  We leave things up to 'fate'.  But we never stop searching for answers at some level.


My aunt and cousin visited me here in Venezuela last week.   They were gracious enough to listen to me  pour my heart out over all my relationship and career 'issues' and finding the 'right' answers.  My aunt responded with what has turned out to be a very profound statement.  She said, "Wow, Alex, you really overthink things.  Life is just not that serious."


Life is just not that serious.


My problems are just not that serious.  There isn't some important right answer to search for.  Every fork in the road is not a test of my character and abilities.  Relationships, careers, everything changes.  It's just experiences that someday add up to a life.  You won't even remember the importance of this moment 10, 20 or 30 years from now.


Lighten up.  You're not perfect and that's okay.


Be present here.  now.


Breathe.  Smile.  Accept.


Live.