5 Hundred 25 Thousand 6 Hundred Minutes

How do you measure, measure a year?

For some, the New Year always brings about a time of reflection.  On the year, on themselves, on their jobs, their goals, their passions.  For me, it’s the end of the school year that does it. 

All school year I’m caught up in teaching, projects, meetings, vacations, friendships, plans and other business.  Right now there is about a month left until final exams and it feels like I’ve finally taken my first deep breath.  I feel the weight of this school year, of my life, of my choices, my battles, and equally so those people in my life. 

I came to Venezuela only 9 months ago with a suitcase full of plans for a relationship, a career, and a life I wanted.  I wasn’t prepared for the tests I would face or the truths I’d have to give up.  What really happened is, my relationship ended.  My job turned out to be something completely different.  I lost a family member and I struggled being so far away.  I missed my friends dearly and it pained me to stand on my own two feet; all alone.  Still, in the end, I wouldn’t change anything about it.

I thought I’d be teaching some science and physical education and enjoying what would be “easy” days compared to what I’m used to.  Instead I taught a combination of math, science, health, wellness, and global issues and became the stand-in College Counselor.  I developed and implemented a global citizenship program at my school, took student groups to the first ever Global Issues Network of the Americas in Lima, Peru, started an EcoCub, became a leader in our curriculum development, and the first ‘FedEx’ day intended to inspire students and their ideas.  I’ve traveled to Caracas, Maracaibo, Merida, VE and Lima, Peru with students, coached the basketball team, and worked hand-in-hand with my administrators on a variety of topics.  Small school = Many hats.  I go home every day exhausted. 

When I look back on it, I can’t believe all the things I’ve been involved in at my school.  And I can’t believe all the things I’ve found I’m capable of.  I’m at the end of my 6th year of teaching and I finally feel like I’m not being treated like a ‘new-bee’ anymore.  I find I have valuable experience to bring to the table and people actually listen.  I’m learning how to lead effective and efficient meetings and help a team achieve goals.  I’ve honed my email and verbal communication to try and create a positive climate.  Maybe, just maybe, I can be a leader.  Like really, really lead.  Use my passion to get the things important to me accomplished.  This year I’ve learned to say, “I can,” and believe it more than I ever used to.

Ironically, I’ve also decided that a career change is an inevitable part of my future.  I love kids, but I don’t love the classroom.  I love learning, but I don’t love teaching the same things over and over.  I love leading, but I don’t love trying to motivate people that don’t want to be there.  I envision working with like-minded adults to accomplish something truly great.  I want go back to school and create a depth to my understanding about the environmental world.  I want the freedom to self-direct.  To decide where I want to invest all of my energy and what kind of legacy I want to leave.  This change excites me.

My relationship ended mid-year.  With all the expectations I had, this is taking a real toll on me.  I’m staring at 30 and being single is not what I wanted.  But choosing to end a bad relationship and learning to rely on myself may be just what the doctor ordered.  I may not like it, but I’m learning to be alone.  I’m learning to find other connections that are important to me.  To put my needs first for a bit and quit trying to fix and modify the people in my life.  I’m learning to welcome in new friendships and say ‘yes’ to new opportunities.  I’m also learning what exactly it is I want in a relationship.

After much deliberation, I’ve narrowed it down to the following:

I want someone that can match my intensity for life.  Someone that understands when I don’t stop until I’ve got it ‘right’ but at the same time helps me step back and see the big picture.  I want someone that finds the inherent good in people and can empathize with anyone.  Someone who helps me forgive.  Someone that’s a problem solver and can make things happen.  Who has their own passions as well.  Someone that opens me up to new ideas and is patient and caring.  Who makes me laugh. 

And hey, it wouldn’t hurt if he was dashingly good looking with a great body :)

Maybe I’m asking too much...

Regardless, I’m offering a large sum of money to the person that finds him for me. 
**Big bonus if he practices yoga and doesn’t judge people with minor chocolate addictions.

But even bigger on the priority list right now:  I want my friends and family back!!  While living in Korea, I developed some of the best friendships I’ve ever had (Liz, I’m talking about you!).  And I had a community of rock-star women who were incredibly inspiring and supportive.  I miss them (Where are my Biscuits?!).  SO much.  I didn’t even realize how lucky I was.  And my family too!  So much seems to be going on at home that I’m not a part of.  This year has been lonely because of
that.  Lots of questions about what I’m doing and the relationships I’m missing out on. 

 Liz and I.  Man, that seems so long ago!

 

Left to right; brother eric, myself, brother adam, and sister alyssa.  Miss you.

Funny though how life always brings you what you need.  Since the breakup, I’ve put myself out there and gotten to know some really great people.  Like Marisa that I recently traveled to Colombia.  I mean, I do feel lucky here.  But it’s so hard to start from scratch.  The intimacy that is felt with an old friend or family member that really knows you is almost unbeatable.

And, another big thing that has happened this year... drum roll please... I’ve started looking into the adoption process.  Nothing substantial yet.  Reading, getting my head around the idea.  Sending a few emails.  I think I’m looking at a few years until anything really gets underway, but it feels really good to start thinking about.  It feels very right for me.

It’s been quite a year.  I feel a heck of a lot older most of the time.  I don’t like doing a lot of the things I used to do when I was younger.  I used to like to party a lot and now I can’t stomach more than a moderate amount of food and drink.  I used to love to read and watch fiction.  Now I’d rather read nonfiction and watch documentaries.  I used to run and workout until I couldn’t go another inch, and now I enjoy listening to my body and doing enjoyable activities like yoga and walking.  I find myself preaching to my students about ‘when I was your age’ and am surprised that some of my students are now sophomores in college.  I don’t feel as anxious or demanding anymore.  I let things pass more gracefully and I see things in the grey scale much more so than black and white.  And in general, I’m a lot happier with myself.  I’m less afraid to make mistakes, more easily say ‘I’m sorry’, and much less critical of my actions.  I forgive a little easier and let go of a little more.  With my 30th birthday looming, I can say that I’m happy with the curves my life has taken.  I appreciate my experiences and look forward to whatever the next 30 years have in store.

Namaste

Me Encanta Colombia

As our spring break approached (yes, I'm almost 30 and I still get spring break!  I love my life!), I was excited to be traveling with a friend that has grown very dear to me; Marisa.  This is us:

She's fabulous.  Really, really fabulous!  She's the kind of person who's always asking how you are doing, how she can help out, predicting what you might need.  She's happy, lives life to the fullest, isn't afraid to make mistakes.  Plus, she's just a ton of fun!

So our trip to Colombia was guaranteed to be amazing, but not without a few trials first!

The morning we were set to depart, my day started out great.  I got to sleep in a bit, had a great yoga practice, and then enjoyed tea and a book on my porch.  On the way to the airport we stopped for amazing 'arepas de cochino' at Luis' house.  This restaurant is literally a few plastic chairs and grill on a sidewalk, but it is AMAZING.  Now I'm not a pork fan.  In fact I rarely eat meat.  But I was coerced into trying these things and I can't help but admit they are to die for.  It's marinated in something amazing, grilled and then stuffed in a fresh arepa with avocados, cheeses and yummy sauces:

This is basically what they look like.  I literally had a dream about them once.  Luis was walking toward me, surrounded by light, and carrying one of these delicious things.  It was the best dream ever :)

As you can see, it was a great start to the day.  Too bad it didn't stay that way...

We arrived at the airport 2 hours early for our domestic flight.  When we got to the desk however, we found out our flight had already left.  Yes, they changed the flight time to 9am and never told a soul.  We rescheduled for the 3pm flight, but it was doubtful that we would make our connection to Bogota.  We needed a new game plan. 

Marisa's boyfriend picked us up so we could try to find another way to Caracas.  The bus option fell through so we began settling into the fact that we would be driving.  But first, we needed an oil change.  We headed toward the mechanic.  The traffic was terrible, stop and go.  And it was hot.  Seriously a scorcher, with no air conditioning.  Misery.  And then... the car breaks down.  Yep.  Right at a a stoplight in the middle of traffic.  Cars driving by honking, yelling, and there's nothing we can do.  We are sweating bullets by the time we finally get the car into neutral and push it to the side.  And we are not in a good neighborhood.  I stay in the car because my 'blonde-ness' attracts too much attention.  We start hiding our purses, valuables, credit cards in the trunk.  Marisa's boyfriend has the hood up and is trying to figure out what's wrong.  The most he gets out of that though is an electric shock from the battery.  This vacation has not even gotten off the ground yet!  Now what?

We have to leave the country.  We don't have a choice.  Otherwise our visas will expire and we'll be thrown into some Venezuelan bureaucratic nightmare.  So we are back to our first option; take the 3pm flight and hope for the best.  So we need a ride back to the airport.  Eric offers to come get us, but he gets caught in a Pro-Chavez blockade!  Seriously!  Can this day get any worse?!  After hours of waiting, our ride finally arrives and we head to the airport for the second time.  There's not much hope left however.  These local flights rarely leave on time.

These are the moments I hate traveling...

Surprise again; the airport turns out to be wonderful!  It's air conditioned, they have drinks, and our flight leaves on time!  Amazing!  But when we land in Caracas, the real test begins.  We push people out of the way as we sprint through the airport.  Marisa heads to international check-in and I wait for our bags.  By some stroke of luck, their isn't even a line for check-in.  Marisa has our tickets ready and all we need to do is get our bags to them within 15 minutes.  However, the luggage fails to arrive.  Now we are down to 10 minutes.  Finally the carousal starts turning!  But... then it stops again.  5 minutes left!  Finally our bags show up.  I grab them in hand and literally sprint to the international terminal.  They tape on some luggage tags with a mere 3 minutes remaining. 

Phew.

Luckily it turns out to be worth it.  Colombia is such a delight.  Incredible beauty, yummy food, friendly people.  Here are some highlights from our stay in Bogota:

Hot coco and cookies at little Arabian cafe - colombian chocolate is delicious!

Full-on Recycling Program! (Come on, Venezuela!  You can do it too!)

Parque Simon Bolivar- bigger than central park, trails around lake, yummy food stands (grilled corn, grilled pork and potatoes, obleas (caramel strawberry waffle)), various theatrical events, scary naked people, people on stilts:

 

Huge eye-ball men running around scaring children.  Is is wrong that I found this hilarious?!

A Restaurant called 'Andres Carne de Res' in Chia - World-renowned restaurant, fun, dancing event - Welcomed us with a small band that asked if I'd be their grilfriend and made us dance all around!

 Big Drinks in coconut cups!

 

 The menu is a BOOK!

 

Empanadas, red snapper in a Colombian sauces topped with cheese and shrimp. Delicious!

Colonial bogota:

   

Buying my dad "Treasure Island" at the used bookstore:

Highlights from our stay in Salento, a sleepy little mountain town with great views, hiking, cocoa farms and people!

 The town of Salento, surrounded by mountains.

 View from top lookout point.

 Bridges through the jungle - awesome!

 

Salento at night.

 

Tired while hiking, but loving it!

 

The Coffee process from left to right!  Best coffee (and strongest!) I've ever had.

Then we discovered this Colombian game called "Tejo"; game that was surely invented by a teenage boy.  Basically you throw metal, disc-like 'tejos' at a clay pit where gunpowder has been buried. 1 points for getting wedged in the clay, 3 points for causing an explosion, 6 points for landed in the small, circular middle target, and 9 points for and explosion and hitting the middle target. About every few minutes you almost wet your underwear when one of these things exploded starting small fires or sending out a small fireball of burning material.
Only in Colombia, throwing heavy chunks of metal and targets full of gun powder while drinking.

 The clay pit targets.  Me throwing - kinda like 'Bags'!  I'm so good.

 Marisa and I holding 'Tejos'

 The winning team!  Me, Marisa, and the shortest German I've ever met.

World's smallest but most delicious Tomato!

This is first, only and probably last tomato that my plant will produce in it's short lifespan:

 

It's been 7 months since I started my porch 'garden'.  I'm sad to report that the tomato plant is the last man standing and is now in it's final stages of life.   I've tried and failed it seems with the green thumb.  I'd like to blame it on the scorching Venezuelan sun and lack of good fertilizer, but it's more likely the weeks I forgot to water!