The Road Goes Ever On...: Brothers Always Drive Their Sisters Crazy

I’ve been priding myself lately on how “zen” I’ve become. I have my yoga practice. My meditation. Great conversations with my friends. I feel so much more peaceful and at ease. My emotions are more in check and I just have been feeling good all around. The arrival of my brother, Adam, to Korea a few weeks ago, made me realize I got it a little wrong. I didn’t so much learn to control my frustrations as I did take away all things that could possibly stimulate them. And the arrival of a family member certainly did just that.

Adam is 17 and I am 28. I certainly didn’t think we’d always see eye-to-eye on this vacation, but I guess I hadn’t prepared myself enough for what this would be like. Adam and I both came into the situation with vastly different expectations and we had a fight and breakdown by day number 3! I felt Adam was already trampling on my lifestyle and not respecting my opinions and he felt pressure to act differently and my constant questioning and pressure. We haven’t spent this much time alone together since he was in diapers and we didn’t know quite how to handle each other. Eventually it just got really emotional and we let it all fly.

After we unleashed on each other, we both felt a lot better actually. And it became incredibly more simple to see each other’s point of view. Adam was traveling out of the country for the first time ever, and to Asia no less. His head was spinning a million miles an hour. He threw himself into every situation taking advantage of things to do, people to talk to, experiences to have. I, on the other hand, live here and keep quite a regular schedule I realized. I’m in bed at and rise at almost the same time daily. I have the same bowl of oatmeal for breakfast every morning, practice yoga and read at the same time and hate to miss any of my hiking dates with the Toms. Adam messing with my space and lifestyle threw me for more of a loop than I realized.

In the end, something amazing happened. We both actively choose to change our approach to the situation and we ended up having an amazing time together! I reigned Adam in a little when he needed it and he helped me break out when I needed it. We traveled all over Seoul and spent a week on the beach in Boracay, Philippines. We had incredible experiences, tons of fun, delicious food, great conversations and made connections with some amazing people (mainly thanks to Adam). The highlights include:

Both of us sailing for the first time! This turned out to be way more exciting than I thought. We basically sat on what amounted to some cross beams, on one of the windiest days ever, clinging to the boat for dear life. It was so much fun! The expanse of the ocean. The waves crashing by. Adam almost getting knocked off and losing his glasses! Totally exhilarating.

Being a part of Adam’s first experience scuba diving. I tell you, there is nothing more surreal and incredible than joining the underwater water world as a living, breathing member. Adam ended up loving it just as much as I do. He was rather good at it and He couldn’t stop raving about it. It was just a great feeling to be there for that new experience.

Rock climbing in Seoul. This was another activity that Adam was instantly good at. A gracious colleague of mine took us out to a local climbing wall a few times during Adam’s stay. Phew, what a work out! But once you’re at the top... so cool! Great feeling of accomplishment (and a little scary being so high!)

Singing karokee. Playing 'where's waldo' in a local restaurant. Holding an aerobics class on the sidewalk. Taking video and pictures of hilarious deeds. And literally sprinting across neighborhoods! Our team won the first ever KIS scavenger hunt. What a blast!! Here is the winning team:

Meeting a pair of eccentric Portuguese travelers. After our departure flight from Boracay was canceled, we were forced to take a cramped little van to a nearby airport two+ hours away. But was started as an big inconvenience turned out to be a blast! Adam and I met these two brothers from Portugal and instantly had a sibling connection. They are middle-aged professors and an absolute riot! Laughing and storying-telling the whole way, the trip flew by. We even exchanged emails and tentative plans to meet up again one day in Europe or South America. Very cool connection.

The best part of all though, was just having Adam in my life in Korea. I really wish I could share my life more often with my family. It’s hard to really explain what it is like and to get the chance to show it to Adam was a really special experience. He understands more and can relate. He got to meet my friends and my students and experience how unique and also how ‘normal’ life abroad is for me. We developed a deeper connection and just got to know each other better. He’s graduating from high school, entering college and we both couldn’t help but feel the excitement of the world all around us. Sometimes there are experiences that can cause a shift in your life. This was one of them for both of us, I think. Adam’s exterior world and my interior one, blown open. Totally amazing visit. Thanks, Adam!

Video of Adam trying squid tentacles!